Andrew Listens to... Back to School
In what I can only describe as my most unhinged playlist yet, I share the songs and artists that shaped my middle and high school. Will there be tonal or thematic cohesion? Nope. But I liked them once
As we head into October, the school year is roaring along. Alex and I have already seen two high school plays, my high school D&D crew has swelled to 7 seniors and 3 freshmen, and I’m steadily learning the ropes of coaching for the speech team. This is the most I’ve spent with youth since I was a high school teacher, and I have really missed it. I miss the energy, the insight, and how much the youth change from moment to moment. So, in honor of that, I’m dedicating this playlist to my own experiences in school, the music that shaped me from sixth grade to senior year.
Andrew Listens to… Back to School (linked to Spotify)
In the Garage by Weezer
Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz
Snow (Hey Oh) by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Till I collapse by Eminem
Cupid’s Chokehold/Breakfast in America by Gym Class Heroes
Even Flow by Pearl Jam
Earthquake by Little Boots
Heavenly Divine by Jedi Mind Tricks
Montaña by Gipsy Kings
Viva La Vida by Coldplay
I’m Yours by Jason Mraz
Hey, Soul Sister by Train
Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO
Insignificant by Counting Crows
The List
As has been previously discussed on this blog, I largely inherited my music tastes from my older brother, who, ashamed of how uncool I was at 11, burned me dozens of CDs from his college collection, a mix that stretched from Herbie Hancock to Captain Beefheart to 2Pac. So, in 2003 I began the project of listening through all of those albums, from the start of the record stack to the bottom. The very first one was The Blue Album by Weezer and immediately I fell in love with “In the Garage”. I was a deeply odd child, precocious and awkward, who loved fantasy and comic books, so of course this song hit deep. The slant rhyming couplet of “I’ve got a twelve-sided die, I’ve got Kitty Pryde… and Nightcrawler too, waiting there for me” captured the safety I sought from bullies and insecurity. The song pre-dated the nerd renaissance that was brewing; but the kernel of nerd pride was seeded. It would be another decade before I played D&D for the first time, but I knew early on that this was the sort of person that I’d be (so many hours spent crafting my D&D knock off games based on vibes alone).
If “In the Garage” helped me feel comfortable being uncool, “Feel Good Inc” made me feel really cool. This is the first of the albums that I was introduced to by Pandora, a website with an algorithm that shaped my music taste more than those of Spotify, YouTube, and TikTok combined. When the song starts with the maniacal laughter you know you’re in for a good time. And then the sample kicks in and you’re transported into the world of the fictional band Gorillaz. There’s been a trend on TikTok where they play “Feel Good” sans bass, and it really proves the power of the bass to transform a song. I especially love how the song has this transition from the busy industrial beats to this trippy section about the windmill. I have to confess that I’ve just decided that Gorillaz lyrics are largely meaningless and are more important for how they make you feel rather than anything logical. I suspect Gorillaz superfan Keely would tell me that that there’s tons of meaning, but I leave that for more dedicated fans. I’m just here to feel awesome.
In that original run through of Matt’s CDs, my three stand out albums were Live in New York by Counting Crows, A Rush of Blood to the Head by Coldplay, and Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers. While those three albums have wildly different sounds, they all feature cryptic lyrics sung with full feeling from both the high to the low (a phenomenon I appreciated as my bipolar disorder was kicking into gear). I’ve talked a lot about Counting Crows on this blog, but equally prevalent on my Zune back then was RHCP. The song I’ve chosen to represent this time in my life is “Snow (Hey Oh)” because some of my most vivid middle school memories feature this song. I got the album Stadium Arcadium for Christmas that year, alongside World of Warcraft, a game which I did not ask for, but which came to dominate the better part of two years. And all the while I was playing my sweet mage boy in Azeroth, I was jamming out to “Snow (Hey Oh)”, playing loudly on my bulky blue boombox. And perhaps even more iconic for me was at a middle school dance, a set of truly cringe inducing experiences that I just kept showing up for, when the music shifted to “Snow (Hey Oh)” and the dance floor emptied completely and left me and Matt K on the dance floor, singing along, serenading each other. A distinct moment as a tiny queer awakening for me. I don’t listen to RHCP anymore, so listening to this song feels like a time capsule to a much more confusing time in my life.
I would be dishonest if I didn’t admit to the amount of Eminem I was listening to in middle school, specifically in the summer before 7th grade. The rage, wit, and razor-sharp intellect of Eminem lit something inside of me that most of the I worked hard to suppress. As a middle child, I had this huge chip in my shoulder and a sense of being the eternal underdog. And Eminem, especially on The Eminem Show, spoke to me of defiance, anger, and the need to prove yourself. For those who knew me back then knew I had a vicious temper, which would flare up in the most inopportune times. While “Cleaning out my Closet” is probably the song that I vibed with the hardest, I chose “Till I Collapse” for this playlist because I think it was my original pump-up song. When I was overwhelmed and frustrated, I’d throw this on my Sony disc player and dig deep. I’d return to Eminem in college with “Rap God”, but I find it hard to listen to him anymore. He’s still one of the greatest rappers of all time, but I think I’ve had enough therapy to outgrow Eminem.
I never really had a pop-punk phase. Of course, I knew the major players, but I was never interested in actually seeking out any of their music. My exception was how much I loved “Cupid’s Chokehold/Breakfast in America” by Gym Class Heroes featuring Patrick Stump. Having listened extensively to Supertramp (you can review my review linked here) on the recommendation of my mother-in-law, I can now appreciate even more how good of an interpolation Gym Classes Heroes have done on the original. This was another that saw some pretty heavy rotation on my Pandora radio (I had at least two stations set up around the song). I think it always spoke to how simply optimistic I was about romance in middle school. The peak of commitment for me was my hypothetical future girlfriend making me pancakes, having a specific ringtone for her on my nonexistent phone, and being on the phone for three hours not saying one word. Though, hilariously, the chorus really undercuts all of that romance, where “she’s the only one I got, she’s not much of a girlfriend, I never seem to get a lot”. But I was young and dumb and didn’t really appreciate the lyrics. But damn, the song still slaps.
As I mentioned, a lot of this early music comes from a college student in the late 90/early aughts, so of course I had a lot of Seattle grunge. Obviously I love Nirvana, but the band that spoke to me the most from this movement was Pearl Jam and the husky vocals of Eddie Vedder. No I didn’t understand most of his lyrics, but when those guitars came ripping in and he chewed his lines, I felt so alive. My favorite song was “Even Flow”. I have no idea what the song if about, but a few of the lines felt applicable to my life (“He don’t know, so he chases them away”) But really my favorite part of this song are those exasperated growls and yelps Vedder does throughout the song (Is Eddie Vedder a werewolf?) I don’t think I’ve listened to Pearl Jam since middle school, but hearing this in my headphones puts me immediately back into my childhood bedroom.
I think most of the artists mentioned so far have some pretty big-name recognition, but I don’t know if I’ve EVER heard anyone else ever talk about Little Boots. I’m not really sure how exactly I was turned on to this electronic indie darling, but I suspect it was from the terminally cool (to me) girls in Latin class: Maggie, Zoe, Caroline (and Nicole by association), I’m have a hazy memory of a flash drive being handed around with Little Boots, Metric, and a couple of other flash in the pan indie acts from the early 2000s. But I LOVED “Earthquake”, when the synths would crescendo with this big booming bass drum hits. And I think the sentiment that every little earthquake, every little hurt, every slight was just making you stronger was really appealing to me when I was chronically feeling battered by middle school. It was also in this song that I learned the trick of drowning out my own internal monologue with loud and heavy enough music, which would prove immensely useful over the years.
Speaking of obscure acts, has anyone ever heard of the Philadelphia rap outfit, Jedi Mind Tricks? This was another that came from Matt, and I have no idea where he came across them. An uncharitable reading of Violent by Design is that it’s a Black Muslim knock off of Wu-Tang Clan, but that didn’t stop me from obsessively listening to the album, especially the track “Heavenly Divine”. I did always feel a little guilty listening to this album because a. It’s pretty damn violent (there’s definitely some influence from the Philly underground on later horrorcore rappers of a decade later) and b. It’s explicitly violent using the iconography of Islam, which felt terribly subversive in 2003 in the midst of American post 9/11 Islamophobia and general racism against rap music. But I think I love this song the most from the album because of the juxtaposition of this hardcore rap against one of my favorite rap samples ever, “Andante From Concerto in D Minor for 2 Mandolins” by Yo-Yo Ma and Bobby McFerrin. It’s just really beautiful.
And speaking of beauty, I don’t think I know a single song that has had such an immediate effect on me for its beauty than “Montaña” by Gipsy Kings. Gipsy Kings (originally Los Reyes) are a musical group founded in 1979 in Arles, France, though most members have Catalan heritage. Although the group members were born in France, their parents were mostly gitanos (Spanish Romani) who fled Spain during the 1930s Spanish Civil War. I’ve never looked up the translation of the lyrics before today, but even before I knew what it meant, the sense of yearning for homeland has transcended language and is fully embodied in the music. Also I just think that Spanish guitar is one of the most beautiful sounds in music, and sometimes just listening to “Montaña” will move me to tears. I was introduced to the band from Matt, who I’m certain came across the band from their version of Eagles’ “Hotel California” which was featured in the 1998 Coen Brothers’ movie, The Big Lebowski, which is also a great song and I think is better than the original (hot take).
One of my earliest music memories was lying on my brother’s bed in 2002 when he was home from either Americorp or law school and listening to “Clocks” by Coldplay. I became obsessed. Eventually I bought the sheet music so I could play it on my piano. From 2002-2011, I was a huge Coldplay fan, with an apex in 2008, my sophomore year, with “Viva La Vida”. I love this song. It sounds so epic and has great world building, all about religion, war, monarchy, and freedom. In my parents’ large bedroom, there are huge skylights, so on summer days, I would lie in the summer and blast “Viva La Vida” so loudly that my heart would swell and I felt like my soul was liquid fire. Just listening to it would induce a minor hypomania. It was great. I felt incredible. And then the rest of the album would come in talking about fate and death and loyalty, and I would lap it up. I’ve since cooled on Coldplay (Viva La Vida feels like the last album where they sound like an actual band and not just the Chris Martin show). But listening to this album really brings me back.
And speaking of throw backs, does anyone else remember the ukulele mania of the early 2010s? Maybe it wasn’t at every school, but at Bancroft there was suddenly a proliferation of the little instruments. And for me, one of the most quintessential memories was listening to someone play Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” on the uke. The song is certainly of an era, the “white guy with a guitar” popularized by Jack Johnson and hitting a zenith with Jason Mraz. I’m sure this is the kind of music that Gen Z thinks that all millennial music sounds like, too earnest, too self-consciously witty, and too saccharine and inoffensive. And hey, in this case they’d be right. But wow does it bring me right back to high school. Maybe it isn’t the worst thing to have a simple little love song in the reggae style. There’s a season for all things, and when dating your best friend in high school, it feels pretty good.
Similarly, Train came out in 2009 with another “white guy with a ukulele” anthem with “Hey, Soul Sister”. It’s… not a good song. I’m going to quote two other reviews, because I can’t say it any better:
“’Hey Soul Sister’ is an orgy where bad ideas trade STDs, and the most syphilitic brain-fart stumbled in drunk from a Smash Mouth show ... From Smash Mouth, Train picked up an earworm that burrowed into society’s asshole, laid 4.7 million iTunes eggs, and gave birth to a grey cloud of banality that covers the Earth.”
-Village Voice
“There is less soul in the entirety of Train than in the palest single member of Collective Soul. ‘Hey, Soul Sister’ is soul for people who refer to peanut butter and jelly as ‘soul food.’ It makes the California Raisins look like the second coming of Sly and the Family Stone. It’s so white, Sarah Palin just named it her running mate for 2012.”
-Mother Jones
It’s got just baffling bad lyrics, Pat Monahan’s falsetto burns itself into your brain, and again, the lyric “I’m so gangster, I’m so thug” happens in this song. And yet, AND YET, this was my most listened to song of 2009. I bought the album both virtually and a physical CD so I could play it in the car. I have no excuse, I just really liked it. It’s so happy and bouncy and fun. Not everything needs to be serious all the time. Sometimes it really is just the perfect moment for a goofy little guy. And as a certifiable G.L.G., I can appreciate it. Would I ever recommend it to someone else? Of course not! But is it necessary on a list of my school music, absolutely.
I’m so sorry, but the train of cringy music made by men continues with the absolute banger “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO. Maybe it was the fact that this song came out in the spring of my senior year when I was bursting at the seams to get out of high school, every day filled with hypomanic fervor, a triumphant victory lap with my ten minute show festival, and feeling on top of the world. And yeah, playing this song loudly in my car as I drove home from school felt pretty incredible. Is it good? Hell no. Redfoo and GoonRock have zero chemistry as a musical duo. At one point the lyric is “Yo, I’m running through these hoes like Drano” which… what?” And it includes the tired millennial trope of “put your hands up”. But I swear to God, someday this song is going to play at a wedding and I’m going to dance like an absolute maniac; there will be zero regrets.
I thought about ending this review with “Party Rock Anthem”, but that just wouldn’t be right because how can I talk about the highs and lows of my middle and high school experience without talking about Counting Crows. God, this is the fifth Counting Crows song to make its way on to one of these playlists, but I don’t think I can overstate the profound influence this band had on my childhood. Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings dropped in 2008, my sophomore year of high school. And on a long bus ride back from NYC, where the girl I had a huge crush on had ignored me for several hours, I crashed through this album over and over again. And it was in the song “Insignificant” I could see reflected back at me a central tension of my young life “I don’t want to feel so different/ But I don’t want to be insignificant/ And I don’t know how to see the same things different now”. I wanted so desperately to be a part of a community, to feel normal and loved and not an outsider. But also I wanted to be extraordinary, to be remarkable, to be special. And not knowing how to square those to opposing desires. I still listen to this album, though the songs that resonate with me have changed. In some ways I haven’t changed that much since I was 13. In other ways, countless generations of me separate who I am now from that very troubled kid. But when I look back through this music, I can glimpse him, faintly.
Thank you for going on this journey with me
Our playlists had so much overlap!